Confidence is a scam. There is no other way to put it. There are few people on this earth who are sure of things they do and have faith that they’re right all of the time and most of those people or either sociopaths or conceded douche bags. This leaves us with the rest of the so called “confident people” or as I like to call them, liars. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not trying to shame any of the people out there faking a brave face and facing the perils of life head on. It’s no easy task and they get full marks for doing so but they are still liars.
Just to be clear, while I do strive to be more honest as I get older I’m not above these liars. I am a professional liar when it comes to the field of confidence. When I walk into a room nine times out of ten I feel nervous, get awkward, or just don’t want to be there. But that doesn’t change my attitude. I put on a fake smile and I lie and pretend that I’m comfortable until I start enjoying myself. The old saying “fake it until you make it” hold true when it comes to confidence.
It may be a surprise to most people who know me but despite my occasional arrogance, I never really considered myself a confident person. I actually never considered it until a couple of weeks ago when a close friend of mine called me one of the most confident people she knows. My immediate reaction when she said that was “Ha!” I never considered myself a confident person. In my mind I was a semi-awkward idiot pretending. That’s when it hit me that the act of pretending to be confident is exactly what confidence is. This is very similar to my thoughts on bravery which I got into in a past post called I Hate Superman. Bravery doesn’t mean fearlessly taking action, it means doing something in spite of your fears. Similarly, confidence is pretending to be comfortable in situations where you normally are not.
I’d even go as far as to say that no one is truly confident. We all get nervous anxious and awkward, no matter how smart or talented you are. We all have certain things that make us uncomfortable. It’s the people who hide it and move forward despite these fears that appear as confident. At the end of the day you’re only human but you have to remember that so is everyone else. I think with the right amount of effort and determination everyone has the capacity to be confident in their own way.
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