Tide Pen-Demic

It all started with a simple cup of coffee. A coworker gave me a Starbucks gift card so I decided to treat myself to a large cup of iced coffee. I brought the cup of coffee up to my desk to indulge and get a start on the days work. What I was not aware of was that the barista had filled my cup to the brim with coffee and the lid was barely containing the liquid. As I picked up the cup to take a sip I unknowingly squeezed the cup a tad too hard and caused the coffee to rise on top of the lid. As I raised the straw to my lips, two splashes of coffee would change the course of my mundane work day. Down to my shirt the two drops of coffee went, leaving two fairly noticeable stains on my nice button down shirt.

In a matter of seconds my shirt was ruined. Would I have to spend the rest of my day with two big coffee stains on my shirt? The work day had just begun! No, I thought to myself, there must be another day. Soon enough I found a coworker with, you guessed it, a tide pen. I ran into the bathroom and desperately rubbed the pens shining white tip against the blotches of coffee on my nice plaid shirt and to my amazement it worked. I rubbed and rubbed until the stain was no longer visible. Success! Or so I thought…

As I was putting my shirt back on I noticed a smell… a kind of smelly smell… a smelly smell that smelled. I slowly lifted my shirt to my nose prepared for the worse and was overwhelmed with the scent of vomit. Out of the frying pan and into the furnace. I tried to douse the shirt with some Febreze but it did little to help. I walked back over to my coworker to tell him about his expired or faulty Tide Pen, but he simply laughed and said “Ya, that’s how Tide Pens work. Would you rather look stupid or smell bad?”

First of all, I would 100% prefer to look stupid than smell bad. The stains are easier for others to understand while smelling bad has way worse implications. Secondly and more importantly was the lesson to be learned. I realized that everything in life is a give and take. As the old and outdated saying goes “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Personally, I prefer the much more fitting Irish version “you can’t have a bottle full o’ wine and a drunk wife.” It doesn’t matter really, the point is that the same could be applied here. I couldn’t smell good and have a clean shirt.

In life we make choices and those choices require sacrifices. Nothing in this world is free, in order to get you usually have to give. If you want a relationship, that means you have to make yourself vulnerable. If you want a big promotion, it means putting in extra effort and spending late nights and running the risk that you still may not get the job. If you want to look nice and clean sometimes you gotta smell a little like vomit… or have a backup shirt at your desk.

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