Today I am going to attempt to answer a question that has perplexed the human race since the dawn of time. A question that sends your average young adult into a quarter life crisis. The question that people will spend their entire lives fruitlessly trying to answer. How does one achieve true happiness?
The answer to that question may surprise you because of its sheer simplicity. A lot of people say it’s traveling the world, others say it’s changing the world, enjoying the little things, living everyday like its the last,and some even say it’s about doing something that you’ll be remembered for long after you’re gone. While those are all good guesses they are wrong. Life is about… (*drum roll*) getting married to someone you love and raising a family.
DON’T CLICK AWAY YET! Give me a chance to make my case. I’m not going to go into your grandma’s shpiel about how having a family is the most important thing in the world. I’m not going to say it’s because that’s what God wants from us. Instead, I will take a different approach and attempt to explain why settling down with someone and raising a family is the true meaning of life and will bring you happiness. Just hear me out.
I’d like to start by saying that this may not be the answer for EVERYBODY. It does, however, fit for most people and I could prove it. I’ve given this a lot of thought and have broken down my argument into three key components to illustrate my point. So let’s get in to it
- Everyone has done it since forever
As far as documented history is concerned, one thing that every culture has in common is the existence of family. They all have this system where two people (usually a man and a woman) get together. The man and the woman will have children. The man supports the family financially while the women cares for the family. Those children will usually grow up to do the same on and the cycle goes on and on. This is something that EVERY class of people did in EVERY society. From the peasants working the farms to the kings and queens in the castles. It is something that every person did no matter their skin, race, religion, or level of wealth. Why did they do it? While the argument could be made that in ancient time that having a family is financially smart (and I’ve made that argument in a previous post) there’s more to it. A king doesn’t need a wife and family to produce an heir. He could just have fun, party, and sleep with whoever. Then, when he’s ready, he could just knock up a random woman for an heir. He doesn’t do that because he realizes the value of family.
- We still do it
A lot of “progressive” people say that the traditional family is outdated and anyone who disagrees with them is an idiot. They say to enjoy your life and not let the commitment of a family hold you down. See the world and enjoy all of its pleasures which a lot of people do. They’ll go out to party every night, backpack through Europe, and fuck their way through their twenties. While doing so they’ll make sure you know that they’re having the time of their lives and how they’re never gonna settle down. But after awhile they slow down. They get too old for the party scene and start looking for what’s worth a while in life.
They start looking for something that is worth a long term commitment. Now let’s guess what that thing is. Wouldn’t ya know they do the thing they said they’d never do. They fall in love and start a family. I wonder why they do that? In today’s time with the money that you “waste” on your family, you could save up your money and use it to travel and save up for an early retirement. Seems weird anybody would give up living the dream and having the time of their lives for this weird family creating thing, huh? It’s because all of that traveling and partying only brings short term happiness and leaves people empty inside.
- We biologically want to do it
Ever see a girl (or guy depending on what you’re in to) walking down the street and your heart starts pumping a little faster, your palms get sweaty, and you get all nervous. Sure a lot of that desire is to have sex but why? Why does your body lust for it so much? Well that’s because your body is pushing you to do it through rewarding you with a good feeling. Just like you feel good when you eat a good meal or go for a run. You feel good after sex because your body wants you to do it.
That doesn’t really make sense though. Why would your body crave sex? There’s no nutritional value besides the small workout it provides. One could even argue that sex is dangerous because of the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Well the reason we crave sex is because imbedded in our DNA is the biological need to reproduce. Yup, you could look that shit up because the fact is that human beings crave reproduction. Scientifically speaking, humans beings, as well most living organisms, have something called the five functions functions of life: Order Sensitivity, Adaptation Growth, Energy processing, and Reproduction. All of these are fundamental to keeping the organism alive. All except reproduction that is. Reproduction is important to maintain the existence of the human race. That means that scientifically speaking reproducing and raising a child is a fundamental of life.
So there you have it. Creating a family is what brings true happiness. A lot of people out there say that happiness is brought upon by personal success, making your mark, or helping others, and they’re not entirely wrong. All of those things contribute to it and give life meaning, however, when push comes to shove real happiness and meaning is brought upon by creating a family.
Creating a family is something that the human race has been doing for as long as history could be traced back. Despite the vast difference from life today and life thousands years of go, building a family is one of the few things that all time periods have in common. This could possibly attributed to the fact that we biologically crave a family and the idea of being part of one. A lot of people like to discount the value of family due how common and typical it is. People tend to think that something could only be special if it’s unique and different but I think the opposite in this case. Think of the entirety of the human race across all of time as your test group. The vast majority of them have gotten married and gotten married and created a family. What does that tell you? It sounds boring and ordinary but maybe the reason it’s so common is because creating a family is what really matters.
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