Here’s a secret: When I was younger I had anger issues… like major anger issues. I was your classic over sensitive volcano waiting to erupt. The smallest joke would set me off and sometimes even less. If someone did something to piss me off I’d make sure they knew. To put it plainly, I was a problem. This surprises most people I know because despite my many flaws, a short temper doesn’t come to mind when they see me. It wasn’t easy but thankfully, I got over it around middle school and none of my friends today know that angry little shit who once had temper tantrum for getting 10th place in Mario Kart.
Getting over my short temper didn’t mean I was mister chill in high school. I still got angry, I just bottled it up. I was so scared of lashing out that I would rather have it fester inside. I’d later learn that this was just as bad and maybe even worse. Trying to hold it in was bad because in reality I wasn’t really holding it in. An emotion like that doesn’t just disappear, it has to get out one way or another and this anger found ways to get out. Bottling up anger would just cause me to explode less frequently but breakdown over smaller and silly things. After a long period of bottling up anger and allowing it to cripple me I realized that maybe holding it in wasn’t such a great idea.
This left me at quite the crossroads. If lashing out wasn’t an answer but holding it in didn’t work, what was to be done? After years of working on myself and going from an angry person to a somewhat regular person, I came to realize that there is no concrete answer. Anger sucks no matter how you dice it because it’s usually directly correlated to someone or something causing you a substantial displeasure. You have this fiery emotion in your chest and you find yourself wanting the person or thing that caused you the hurting to hurt thinking it’ll spare you the pain. Maybe you’ll start wanting the bad thing that happened to you to happen to others so that they could understand. If you let it, anger will take you down a dark path that’ll ruin your life. You can’t let it bring you down which leaves you with no choice but to move forward.
The worst part about anger is that you just have to deal with it. There’s no one cure for anger. There’s no secret meditation that makes it go away. You have to just wait for the feeling to subside. One day you’ll feel really angry but the next day you’ll feel it a little less. The day after you’ll feel it even less, the day after that a little less and so on. You just have to deal with it. You can’t just stop talking with your best friend because you’re angry, the world won’t stop because you’re bummed that you got dumped, and nobody cares that you’re pissed off because you got overlooked for that job promotion. You have to just deal with it.
There’s no one way to go about dealing with anger. I personally like to use a mixture of talking it out with friends and listening to some punk rock to get myself out of it. Hell, sometimes I’ll even go for a run to let some steam off and actually get in a work out for once. There are many different ways that different people use to let off steam. Some rely heavily on the gym, some write poetry, some write stupid blog posts, and there are even people who use drugs and alcohol to distract themselves from the painful emotions that they can’t deal with. You have to so find what works for you and deal with that anger festering inside… maybe not the last two but you guys get what I’m saying. That anger needs an outlet and it’s better that you choose how that emotion gets out rather than letting it bottle up until you explode.
Anger sucks and so does dealing with it but you don’t really have a choice. The only way to move past it is to move forward. One of my favorite sayings that really helped me get past my personal anger problems was “the best revenge is a life well lived.” There’s a lot to be learned from that statement. There’s no need to look backwards and see how you could harm those who have wronged you or fix what’s already broken. Sometimes you need to just move on and decide that the best response to the suckiness that comes with anger is enjoying the parts of life that don’t suck.
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